Monday, July 13, 2009

Insomnia, my bffl.

I've been having lots of problems sleeping these past few days. Before, it was because I was so sick that I couldn't breathe when I laid down, or got coughing attacks. I am still sick but now I just can't sleep randomly. And it has nothing to do with the fact that my dog snores louder than my dad (and that means LOUD).

I think too much.

I have so many things in my head that I wish i could express creatively. My hands are itching to draw a picture, my camera is itching to capture a special something that will express everything that is going through my head at times like this.
But I fail.

I've probably taken about 800 pictures this past month, none of which I'm proud of and have led to further editing. This is really problematic. Me and Gerry have been planning on writing music once again and unfortunately I have been lacking inspiration to sit down at the piano and figure stuff out. I draw, and fail.

This is rather frustrating, because if I can't find inspiration to do those things I call my passions, then what the hell am I going to find the inspiration and drive to do those things that I have to get done?

I have to push myself harder. I have to start taking my camera with me everywhere I go once again. I need to stop complaining about bad lighting and lack of interesting views. I have to start drawing whenever I get an idea in my head. I need to do something to get these things out of my head that keep me up at night. And, from previous experience, I know that the only way for these things to stop haunting me is by expressing them creatively. Somehow.

Tonight insomnia and fear stroke once again. Instead of wasting all of my time on facebook doing absolutely nothing, I looked up young artists work and somehow felt the need to do what they did and loved. Create.

So i looked through my pictures, and found nothing. I took out my sketchbook and started drawing random things. Nothing I liked. Yet after a few trials I seem to be getting somewhere. I have an idea I want to try out, 2 actually. And I've started. I'm excited.

A few days ago I took a picture just to show friends my new hair, but I liked it and decided to do some simple line art on it. I hope that this is only the beginning of a photo series of line art on photography that I plan to do. Excited.

And as for music? Tomorrow, no matter how hard it is for me to get a chord down on the piano to accompany Gerry's guitar, I will do it until I get something we like out of it.

Thank you insomnia, you have given me inspiration.